February 2012
38 posts
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Potential memoir titles
“Puking in beds with boys”
“Young Dumb and Full of Fun:The Bebe Story”
“A history of awkward sexuality”
“Finding the burrito in every situation:life lessons with Bebe”
“Tuesdays with Maury Povich”
“Who let the dogs out?”
“I liked you better on Facebook”
“I never promised you a rose garden (or a...
Dear probably freshmen girl,
I’m sorry I drank that unopened bottle of Rolling Rock you left on the floor of the party. But not really.
XOXO
YR FAVORITE OLD-TIMER
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The inevitable argument with people I date:
I have never dated any heterosexual dude who doesn’t start arguing with me when I say I dislike solos, particularly rock guitar solos.
Here’s why I don’t like them: First off, most guitar solos from the late 60’s to today (though OBVIOUSLY there are exceptions) are masturbatory functions that serve no one save for the guitarist himself. They are not enjoyable to listen to...
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BURGER KING ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE/MY MOM BOUGHT...
If you ever need impetus to commit mass murder in the name of decency, I highly recommend searching the tag “unsatisfied” on Tumblr.
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SCORE
Hey,
at least I’m not pregnant.
Stupid Americans
I have to say, there is nothing more obnoxious to me than a stupid tourist, irregardless of your home country.
There was this one student from my school who was abroad with me in turkey at the same time. He was clueless about the language (couldn’t read a menu), oblivious to their political climate (he was too scared to go to any protests. Which definitely will come in handy for him since...
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Feelin’ Dank-Friends
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Pizza rolls
totally planning on eating a box alone and watching British period dramas. And I do mean PERIOD.
Anyone interested in joining me may contact me.
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These ladies
aka my lovely residents, better like this penis cake I slaved over for them.
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Saying today was a shitstorm
is like saying Adolf Hitler had a bad attitude about life. ACK!
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I'll take care of you
I had an extended dream revolving around Drake
what a waste of my subconscious
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Mouthfulla caps-Gravy Train!!!
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Youtube
reccommended the intro to “Who’s the Boss” for me.
I cringe with the knowledge they know me too well.
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What should I do?
My art history project on?
Victorian pressed flower art?
or the phallus in the art of Yayoi Kusama and Louise Bourgeois?
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January 2012
45 posts
Remember
hanging out at the skating rink in 7th grade with my best friend and repeatedly begging them to play “Girls” by The Beastie Boys or “Rock the Casbah” by the Clash.
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